Works Well With Others (part 2): Race To The Bottom


Did any of your group members attempt the “5 Things Authentic People Say” homework? If so, Which of the five things did you find the hardest to say? Share a circumstance in which you said “Me, too” “I was wrong. I’m so sorry.” “I need help. Will you help me?” “I’m not where I want to be yet” or “I’m not where I was.”



This Sunday we discussed one way to get better at relationships. We said in a good relationship, both people are looking to bless not themselves but each other. 

When our goal in a relationship is to be personally blessed we ask questions like “What do you have to offer me?” “What am I getting out of this relationship?” “How can I get what I want?”

  • What kinds of questions should we ask instead?

Think of a time someone put you and your needs/comfort/blessing before him or her self. It might be a time when someone gave you their time and attention even though it didn’t benefit him at all. It might be a time when someone got less because she gave you more. Share with the group.

How good are you at paying attention to other people’s lives? What does it look like to practice that?

Consider this quote from William Barclay in the context of relationships: “The Christian has no rights. Only duties.”

  • What does it mean? 
  • Is it true? 
  • If it is true, what it look like to live as a person who has no rights? Even if you don’t think it’s totally true, imagine which “rights” we Christians should be willing to give up in a relationship.

Give one practical example of “racing to the bottom” in each of the following relationships:

  • Co-workers
  • Parent to child/child to parent
  • Teacher to student
  • Husband to wife/Wife to husband
  • Friends
  • Brother to sister/sister to brother
  • Neighbors
  • Church members 

Think of a relationship you want to improve. Think of three things you could do in that relationship to serve the other person. Share one with your group and ask them to hold you accountable.



Read Philippians 2:3-8.

How do you feel about the prospect of “not looking to your own interests”? Does that bother or concern you at all? Why or why not?

What would it look like for you follow Jesus’ example and “make yourself nothing”? 

  • What would you stop doing? 
  • What would you start doing?



Think of the relationship you chose earlier as one you’re committed to improving. Identify one thing your group can pray for the person you’re committed to blessing. Any prayer on their behalf is a blessing to them. :)