Contrary To Popular Belief (Part 3): Sex Is The Best And It's Not A Big Deal

For Leaders...

Because this week's subject may be difficult/awkward, we suggest you do three things to best facilitate discussion:

1. Pray. Ask God to help your group be vulnerable with one another. Thank God for sex.

2. Set an example of being very comfortable with the subject matter. Try not to make awkward jokes or be silly. The more comfortable, personal, and vulnerable you are, the more your group will be.

3. Remind your group that this is a safe place to bring their full, unfiltered lives. Also, remind group members to protect one another's vulnerability.


#1 Listen to "Contrary to Popular Belief: Sex is The Best And It's Not A Big Deal"

Consider this Sunday morning’s lesson. You can listen here:

Or watch here [video will be posted by Monday each week]:

What stuck out to you as interesting?

Did you encounter any challenging or re-orienting truth?

How’d it make you feel?


#2 Birds and the Bees

In what context did you first learn about sex? If you have a funny story you must certainly share. :)

What did your parents do right when they first told you about sex (assuming they did tell you)? What did they fumble?

How well do you feel like you understood sex (what it was for, when you should have it, etc.) before you had it? What do you wish you'd known but didn't?


#3 Two Lies and Two Truths

On Sunday we refuted culture's lies with these two truths:

1. Sex isn't a good God.


2. Sex is more than just physical.

Have you ever looked to sex to give you happiness, purpose, love, fulfillment or identity? What was the result? Share.

Have you ever had sex expecting it to just be physical but discovered yourself emotionally, psychologically, or relationally affected? Share.


#4 Watch this:

What is true about this message?

How have you experienced this reality personally?


#5 Dictator

What we do comes out of who we believe we are. In other words, our identity dictates our behavior.

Read Galatians 5:16-25.

In this passage the Apostle Paul mentions sexual immorality among a long list of other "acts of the flesh." According to the text, why would a Christian not engage in acts of the flesh?

What is your identity? How does that identity identity shape the way you view sex?


#6 Marital Relations

Twice during Jesus' ministry does he tell his audiences that married people shouldn't get divorced. And twice he says "except for sexual immorality." (Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9)

  • What is it about sexual immorality that divides a marriage?

How does what we've discussed about sex shape the way married couples should approach it?

  • Why does having sex matter?
  • How can we leverage the truth about sex to make our marriages better?


#7 MashUp

Consider the following thought from Rob Bell's book Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality

“Love is giving up control. It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two—love and controlling power over the other person—are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all the desires within us to manipulate the relationship.”

A misunderstanding of sex and a misunderstanding of power often go hand in hand.

  • How might sex be used to obtain power?
  • How might sex be used to demonstrate or exert power?

Consider particularly sex within marriage. Can sex be used in an effort to manipulate your spouse? Why is that problematic?

What happens in sex when we "surrender the desire to control" our spouse?