On The Road To Better (part 3): What To Do When You're Wrong

TO START:

Think of something you’re doing or thinking lately that might very well be wrong. Feel free to keep it light. Did you cook the chicken wrong? Are you using hashtags wrong? Do you always get someone’s name wrong? Dig around and find the places where you’re not so confident. Share one with the group.

 

DISCUSSION:

This Sunday we read from I Samuel chapter 25, looking at the interaction between David and Abigail (If your group members weren’t at church on Sunday consider re-reading the passage). Were you familiar with this story? If not, what was surprising or interesting about it? If you’re heard it before, what did you notice this time that you might have missed before?

  • What can you learn from the way Abigail deals with David?
  • What can you learn from the way David receives Abigail?

It is an unavoidable truth: YOU’RE DOING THINGS WRONG. How does hearing that make you feel? Use your emotion words.

Have you ever known you were wrong but refused to change your mind or behavior because you were too proud to take advice? Think of a specific encounter (big or small). Share with the group.

What’s the problem with being a person who doesn’t welcome correction? If we stay that way what will be the end result?

Have you ever received gentle correction and been super thankful for the help? Share.

  • What did that person do to make the correction easy to receive?

During the sermon, Justin asked the following questions. Pick one to answer out loud:

  • How often do you ask other people for advice?
  • How do you respond to feedback?
  • When’s the last time you said, “If you were me, what would you do differently?”
  • Who have you given permission to to speak into your life?

We all want (or want to want) good counsel. How do we position ourselves to receive it?

Justin suggested two ways to open ourselves up to constructive criticism:

  1. Place yourself in environments conducive to it.
  2. Give permission.

Brainstorm practical ways to do those two things.

 

SCRIPTURE:

Read Leviticus 26:14-27

Here God is railing against His people for not accepting His correction. What’s your first reaction to this passage?

How does God send correction to us today? How might we reject His efforts to realign us?

What do you think God thinks when we choose to ignore helpful counsel and criticism?

 

PRAYER:

Pray this prayer written by Mark and Jill Herringshaw...

Father,

Chide me, but please guide me.

Inspect me, but don’t reject me.

Reproach me, yet coach me.

Scold me, but hold me.

Call me on the carpet, but don’t leave me lying there.

Amen.

 

FOR FUN:

Practice telling other people hard things by telling them hard things that aren’t actually true. Have each group member say a critical (but kind and helpful) thing to another member of the group--but here’s the catch: it can’t be real advice. Be sure to say something they definitely do NOT need to hear. Imagine it's opposite day.

Example: Say to a hard working, disciplined group member, “I’m concerned that you’re not trying hard enough at your work. I think you’re drifting toward laziness, and I want to help you do a better job of disciplining yourself. What can I do to help?”

The point is to get experience framing correction in kind ways while also getting the chance to encourage and compliment your fellow group members.